The day I took mine off was an eye-opener, if you will please pardon the weak pun. It seems that life moves on at it's own pace and we are either setting the pace or being dragged along by the scruff of our necks. When I thought about that I had to admit; I was being dragged. It's like taking an unruly dog for a walk right? A passerby can't tell the walker from the walkee. Only in this case I am speaking specifically about the most widespread health crisis on the planet; obesity.
Had someone asked my if I thought I was obese the reply would have been an outraged and vehement NO. Oh, I'd own up to pudgy, portly, stout, curvy, full-figured, chubby and yes...even fat. But obese...no way! Then one day I was looking a photo someone had taken of me (quite without my permission for I would NEVER allow anyone to take my picture) and the woman staring back at me looked nothing like me at all! She looked like the Weird Al Yankovic dressed up as Micheal Jackson in the video parody "Fat" version of me.
I'm a foodie for sure but never really thought of myself as an overeater. So tell me how a woman who wore a size 6 wedding gown 30 years ago (when I married my first husband) ended up lying down on her bed to facilitate zipping a size 20 pair of jeans? Ok; there's obviously been some mistake so I drag the scale out from where it sits covered with cobwebs under the bathroom vanity, blow the film of dust off the little window pane where the poundage will be displayed, grab the side of the sink for balance and gingerly mount the thing...one foot at a time, keeping to the outside edges (for some reason I've always believed there is a slight advantage to weighing this way...a .2 or maybe even a whopping .4 savings). I was not prepared for what I saw when the dial stopped moving. No...it wasn't that old gag "one at a time please" but it may as well have been. The needle came to rest just a hair shy of 227lbs. Of course the scale was off right? Not calibrated right, not sitting evenly on the tile, old, didn't start at zero as it should. But no...staring back at me from that damnable little window was harsh reality.
I stormed out of the bathroom and picked up the photo again. What I had first taken for a shadow about my neck was clearly a full on double chin; possibly on it's way to subdividing into a triple. My cheeks looked like a squirrel storing nuts for the winter. My eyes looked so small and pigish lost in such a fleshy face. That muffin top I was sporting looked more like a 2lb. loaf of bread dough that had overflowed the bread machine canister. My knees were roughly the size of a small tree trunk, fluid filled and rolled halfway over my kneecaps. I was clearly obese and as Mark Twain once said, "Denial ain't just a river in Egypt."
Let me just say this straight up for those of you who are standing where I stood that day. It doesn't matter how many diets you've been on, potions, pills, fads or exercise programs you have started and stopped...whether you concider your weight your own fault or a product of genetic predisposition; it HURTS to admit to yourself that you are obese. I'm going to say that differently...it is emotionally devastating when you can finally admit to YOURSELF that you are obese!
What is obese anyway? We all hear the terms bandied about. What's the difference between just fat, obese and morbidly obese. It all comes down to a scientific formula that measures something called the body mass index or BMI. The US Department of Health and Human Services quantifies body mass index as follows:
- underweight = <18.5%
- normal weight = 18.5% - 24.9%
- overweight = 25% - 29.9%
- obesity = BMI of 30% or greater
- morbid obesity = BMI 40% or greater
Example: Weight = 150 lbs, Height = 5'5" (65")
Calculation: [150 ÷ (65)2] x 703 = 24.96
Calculation: [150 ÷ (65)2] x 703 = 24.96
If you'd rather not be bothered with the numbers, finding a bmi calculator online is about as easy as finding your way to the fridge! You can even download free bmi calculator apps for your phone
Dare, I even admit that my BMI was 38? Yeah, I do because I'm telling the story honestly with all the highs and lows, the hurdles and high jumps. The good, bad and ugly as they say! I'm not a tall woman, 5'4" to 5'4" 1/2 depending on whether or not I'm slouching. No matter how I tried to tweak that formula...it still came out to 38% bmi. That means, to put it bluntly, that my body was made up of nearly 40% FAT or adipose tissue and all the health risks associated with it.
I have a hereditary factor at work with my blood pressure. Hypertention doesn't run in our family...it gallops full speed! Understanding how the fluid balance in the body influences blood pressure is crucial to controling it. Often the obese carry around incredible amounts of retained fluids which has a direct negative effect on the blood presssure. Hypercholesterolemia most often goes hand in hand with hypertention.
What of our organs? Non alcoholic fatty liver disease or NAFLD is common among the obese and can lead to cirrohosis, liver failure and liver cancer.
Damage to the joints known as osteoarthritis is a condition in which cartilage is continuosly destroyed by wear and tear and the joint becomes painful, stiff and filled with water. I can tell you first hand that having to have a needle jammed into your knees and water sucked out into a huge syringe is exceedinly unpleasant and painful!
Sleep Apnea is a potentially dangerous and deadly condition in which the upper airway become obstructed during sleep. There is a list a mile long of the complications of sleep apnea. I was diagnosed with two types...obstructive airway and intercostal (diaphram forgets to move while you sleep) three years ago and have slept with an auto-bipap ever since. Auto bipap is a bit different than c-pap which is used when only obstructive airway apnea exists. With auto bi-pap there is pressure in both directions (as opposed to just with intake) and the device functions as a respirator in case you're brain thinks your body is getting air but your diaphram didn't get the invitation to the party. I'll never forget the day that I went for the sleep study. I sat down with the doctor afterwards and he told me there were three main causes of sleep apnea...fat, fat and FAT! I swear...he really said that!
Of course, I haven't even mentioned the obvious things like cardiovascular disease and stroke. I don't think I have to. Everyone knows that. Hence that old saying about one digging their grave with their teeth. Tactless but true.
Now, it isn't like I didn't know I was getting "chubby". I think I have tried every diet and diet product known to mankind and more than a few off the wall "alternative" lifestyles in an effort to find that magic formula that would make me NORMAL! Notice I didn't say skinny...I'm not delusional! I will never be Kate Moss and I live under no illusion that I will ever be runway material. Besides, that whole mindset is so messed up and degrading to the average NORMAL woman that no one should aspire to it!
Here's a revelation for you. Diets DO NOT WORK. Oh, yeah...I lost 100lbs years ago using Weight Watchers and I will never say that is not a good program. However...it is only as good as the user and most of us fall off the wagon sooner or later. What happens to our bodies as we jump on and off the weight gain/weight loss roller coaster over and over again? Our metabolism becomes broken if you will...unable to do what it supposed to do. The hormones (which I will write future articles about) which control hunger, satiety, blood sugar, homeostasis etc get ALL out of whack. Our cortisol, leptin, greylin and other hormones become unbalanced. Inflamation runs amok in the body producing auto-immune responses, diabetes, heart disease and much more. Adrenal fatigue prevents the hypothalmus from performing the tasks that keep us regulated. In other words...we become a HOT MESS!
Thus, you find yourself as I did. Staring at a fat woman in the mirror and not quite knowing how things go so out of control. Statistically, once someone has 75 lbs + to lose, they generally cannot do it without some kind of intervention. Now...let me just say that there are people who do it and God bless them but the average person actually CAN'T once things get that far out of control. We aren't lazy, weak, gluttons or any of the other misconceptions people have about the obese. Well, ok...MANY of us are not. I'm not saying there aren't some who are!
So where do you go from here? As you can see, I not only took my rose colored glasses off, I broke them! I got online and began to read and research everything I could find about bariatric surgery. The first step was finding out what my insurance would pay for and I will talk more about this in the next post. Once I armed myself with information; I made an appointment for a consultation with a bariatric surgeon to see if I would qualify for a procedure and which one he recommended. Again, not to purposely create a "cliff hanger" but I will talk more on this in the next post. After the surgeon determined that I qualified; he insisted that I attend some orientation classes and view a film, speak with pre and post op patients and KNOW WHAT I WAS GETTING MYSELF INTO.
This is where my journey began and it is also where this first post will end. I don't want this to just be my diary here. I want others to take something away from these posts that will help them, hopefully even inspire them. I'm still a chef so yeah, there will be recipes. The one question I get asked the most is...was it worth it? To that I must give a resounding YES!
